


White Clowns and Soiled Doves

by TheGreyMage14



Category: D.Gray-man
Genre: 1800s, Circus, Clowns, F/M, Fortune Telling, Happy Ending, Mentions of Violence, Old West, Prostitutes, Tarot, allen deserves all the happy endings, american west, card tricks, pretty self indulgent but ah it was fun to write
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-25
Updated: 2018-11-11
Packaged: 2019-06-15 08:34:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,435
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15409083
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheGreyMage14/pseuds/TheGreyMage14
Summary: What started as a prank blossomed into something much more.Most people in their professions didn't dare to dream of such a happy ending. Once they got the notion in their head, reality would come and blow out the candle, their dreams dissipating with the smoke.





	1. Chapter 1

1895  
There was a storm brewing on the horizon. A dangerous, powerful storm that promised rolling thunder and walls of rain.  
“So let me get this straight.” the blonde said, leaning against the wooden building. Like many towns around the west, it had been put up in nearly a day, though that day had been months ago; back when there was still gold to be found up in the hills and streams. The building the girl was leaning on was of ill-repute, and she happened to be one of the ladies of the night that worked there. “You want to pay me,” she continued “to spend a night with one of your chums?”  
“That’s right dearie.” the man replied. He was a tall, lanky sort of man, with a nose that looked as though it had been broken one too many times. The clothing he was wearing had patches upon patches sewn into it, to keep it from falling apart.  
“And you’re a carny?”  
“That we are, that we are.” he replied, gesturing to his companion behind him, a rather stout fellow with a scar on his chin. “See our...chum, as you said, see he doesn’t get out much, what with workin’ in the tents all the time. So we thought he could use some cheerin’ up.”  
The blonde crossed her arms, unintentionally adding some volume to her breasts. “Oh? Well it’s gonna have to be good pay. As a general rule I don’t usually do business outside the house, ya hear?”  
“It’s good money dearie, I guarantee it.” the tall man said. “Just one night~”  
“Why can't this guy just come here himself then?”  
“Well...some of us carnival folk...we don't like being out among the general population see?” the tall one said. “He gets awful shy...so we thought to surprise him, as it were.”  
She rolled her eyes, the same blue grey as the stormy sky. “And exactly how much am I being paid then?”  
“We have here some fifteen dollars and twenty five cents.” the shorter man said, squinting his eyes against the disappearing sun.  
The blonde’s eyebrows disappeared into her hair. “Fif...fifteen dollars?!” she paused. Another opportunity like this wouldn’t come around for a long time...in fact it might never come back at all. “...Fine. But I gotta tell someone where I’m going.” 

~~~

Lindell had dressed in her favorite outfit; a floor-length dark blue dress with black stripes going down the back. The neckline was low enough to make any decent preacher blush, with black frills dressing the edge. It was sure to get any man’s blood pumping, even that of one who was apparently too shy to leave the carnival grounds.  
The circus itself seemed like it was far past its prime. The colors on the tents were dulled to a mere shadow of their former glory. Everything seemed old and worn. Many of the tents had patches of all sizes on the dull canvas.  
The prostitute gave smiles to those who called out to her; in her mind all she could see was pushing them off a cliff, but unfortunately it came with the rather terrible job description.  
Thunder rolled overhead as she was led past various tents.  
“Right this way dearie.” the tall man said. “That tent on the right, with the red stripes.” he chuckled. “Ey Red!! Got a surprise for ya!”  
The tent flap was then pushed open by a young man. “It’s Allen, dammit!!”  
She hadn't expected him to look so young. He had a youthful face, though his silver eyes seemed ancient with a tired sadness. His hair was stark white, and he had a large red mark running down the left side of his face. It started as an upside down star above his eyebrow, then moved down his cheek. It might have been face paint but then again she couldn’t be sure. He was wearing a worn plain white shirt, black slacks and white gloves. He paused when he saw Lindell. “Oh uh...pardon me mam, I didn't know anyone else was here…” he glanced at the tall man with a rather strained smile. “...Saul, who is she?”  
Saul grinned. “A present for you tonight.” he pushed Lindell towards Allen. “Enjoy! And don't worry about noise, there's a storm brewing!!”  
Poor Allen looked horribly confused. “Noise?”  
The shorter man snickered as the two ran off. “Have fun!!!”  
“...I have no idea-”  
“I’m a workin’ woman, ya hear? A soiled dove.” Lindell said, taking his hand and leading him into the tent. Inside there was a cot, a very banged up dresser with three drawers and a large trunk with brass finishings. The top dresser drawer was open, a couple shirts hanging out. On top was a foggy mirror, along with all kinds of makeup and face paints. A lantern hung from a pole at the top of the tent.  
“Soiled...oh.” his eyes grew wide. “ _Oh_.”  
“Yeah, your friends were kind enough to treat.”  
“...They’re not my friends…”  
Lindell smiled and ran a hand down his left arm. “Colleagues then?”  
Allen flinched and jerked away.  
“Oh come on hun, there's no need to be shy~”  
“Look...I...I’m afraid you're part of a rather cruel joke.” he admitted quietly, hugging his left arm.  
“A joke?”  
“...You should head back to town before the storm starts.” As if on cue, a rumble of thunder was heard, and the tent flaps moved slightly in the wind.  
“What do you mean?” she asked. “...Are you queer?”  
Allen’s cheeks colored. “Ah no...no not really...it’s just...I doubt they told you I’m...part of the freak show.”  
“...Yeah they happened to leave that part out…”  
Allen sat on the cot, running a gloved hand through his hair. “I thought I should tell you before you saw...but you won’t want to be near me when you do.” he glared at the entrance to the tent. “They think it's funny. To see folks run away.”  
Lindell huffed. “Look, I'm sure it ain’t that bad. I'm gettin' paid good money for this, so let me do my job.”  
A snowy eyebrow rose. “How much are they paying you?”  
“A whole fifteen dollars and twenty five cents.” Lindell replied.  
“I can guarantee it to you that they’ve never seen that much money in their lifetimes. We’ve both been tricked.”  
Lindell crossed her arms, unintentionally making her breasts bulge and scowled out into the circus yard. “Those snakes…a good walloping, that's what they need.”  
“See? You won't be getting paid either way, so you should just go.”  
The blonde was silent for a moment before she grinned and sat beside him. “Don't you wanna mess with them?”  
Allen looked at her. “...Pardon?”  
“How ‘bout I stay? With the storm comin’, they won't be able to hear anything. They won't know whether or not we fucked.”  
The white haired boy blinked. “...Why?”  
“I don't like being tricked.” came the simple reply. “And I don't think you do either. So our solution is simple.” she winked at him.  
“...And what on earth are we going to do in the meantime?”  
“You’re part of a circus, ain't ya?” she grinned, sitting next to him, a little closer than he would have preferred. “So go on then. _Entertain me~_ ”  
The blush that appeared on his face made her giggle. He stood quickly. “I-I...well I suppose I know a few card tricks…” he went over to the dresser and opened one of the drawers. From inside he pulled out a well-loved deck of cards. When he turned back to Lindell, he was smiling a bit, and already seemed much more at ease.  
He began absentmindedly shuffling them. “Alright so this is going to be a very simple trick, but I think you’ll like it.” He fanned out the cards before her and looked away with his eyes shut. “Pick a card, but don't tell me what it is.”  
Lindell chuckled as she picked a card. “I’ve seen this trick before.” A red seven of diamonds was in her hand.  
“Not like this you haven't.” He grinned. “Have you memorized the card?”  
“Yes.”  
“Alright, put it back in the deck.”  
Lindell slid the card back inside and Allen immediately began shuffling them again; thunder rumbled directly overhead and the tent shook slightly in the wind, but neither of the occupants paid it any mind. He cut the deck three times before he seemed satisfied. Then he pulled the first card off the top and flashed it at her. “Was this your card?”  
It was a black two of clubs.  
Lindell shook her head, though she couldn't stop the grin from her face. “Nope.”  
“Huh.” Allen scratched the top of his head, puzzled. “I was sure I did the trick right...where did I go wrong? Oh, pardon me,” he said, leaning forward. “You’ve got something in your hair, my apologies.” He said, pulling something out.  
Lindell shrugged. “It's fine, the wind tosses all kinds of sh-”  
“Was _this_ your card?”  
The look on Allen’s face was nothing short of gleeful as he held up a red seven of diamonds.  
Lindell’s eyes were wide. “How...where was that?!”  
“In your hair. Tricky little things, this deck in particular likes to play pranks.” He smiled.  
“That was amazing!” Lindell praised. “How did you do it?”  
Allen slid the card back into the deck. “A good magician never reveals his secrets.”  
“So you're a magician now as well?”  
Allen faltered a bit. “...Sort of. I’m...I’m mostly in the freak show, but when that's not going on I help other acts. I'm also a clown often enough. I'm not...I don't really have the title of magician...and Seb would probably be quite angry if I went around calling myself that, so please don't spread it around.” His smile was sheepish as he put the cards on the dresser.  
Lindell put a finger to her lips. “I won't tell a soul.”  
“Thank you.”  
“So...why are you in the freak show again?”  
Allen instantly grew uncomfortable. “Ah...my arm has a...a skin deformity that most people find…” he paused, searching for the right word. “...Disturbing.”  
“Can I see?”  
“...You might leave if you do.” He tried to shrug and laugh it off, but it didn't work.  
“Sweet heart, I'm a prostitute.” she said, enjoying how the blush creeped back into his cheeks. “I’ve seen quite a bit. One man I was with, he’d been a soldier, and his whole left buttock was-”  
“A-Alright I really don't need to hear that.” His blush was up to his ears. “I...I guess I can show you...just before you run out, remember that it's raining.”  
“Yes yes, I know.”  
“And um...it affects my whole arm, so I’ll have to take my shirt off.”  
“Don't worry, I won't jump you or anything.”  
Allen didn't respond to her last comment as he began unbuttoning his shirt. He left it mostly on, but slid it off the left half of his body. His left glove landed on the cot beside her.  
Well. There most certainly was a skin deformity to it, and Lindell could see how a lesser person would have run. But Lindell was not a lesser person, and had seen many wounds in her time that would leave most queasy.  
His whole arm was red. Dark red. It was bumpy and veiny, almost like he didn't have skin at all. His nails were pitch black, and were a little longer than normal. Aside from that...well he was certainly nice to look at~  
“...I see how someone could be frightened.” she said, choosing her words carefully. The poor boy looked stiff with fear at what her reaction would be. “Does it hurt?”  
He looked a bit surprised at that. “No...no it just gets difficult to move sometimes. As a child I couldn't move it at all.”  
“...It’s jarring, but it's not scary.” she smiled. “Everyone else must be a yellow bellied coward. And you can tell them I said that.”  
He pulled his shirt back on. “Thanks...I don't think I’ll say that though.”  
Just then, the tent flap blew open with the storm. Allen managed to secure it before the whole tent blew over, but he got a bit wet in the process.  
Oh yes. Definitely nice to look at.  
Lightning flashed outside, briefly lighting up the world as Lindell took off her shoes and sat cross legged on the cot. “What else can you do?”  
“Well...a lot of tricks require props, and I don't have those in here.” He said.  
“Alright then, my turn.” she said.  
For at least the fifth time that night, Allen’s blush reached his ears. “I uh-”  
“I don't mean sex, unless that's what you want.” she winked and laughed. “I can do other things you know.”  
Allen coughed awkwardly into his hand. “I-I knew that…”  
“Want me to read your fortune?”  
He blinked. “How?”  
“Tarot.”  
“...Do you have your cards?”  
“I can use plain old playing cards.” she responded. “Do you mind if I use yours?”  
“I suppose not.” He answered, taking the deck from the dresser and handing it to her.  
“I would ask you to shuffle them, but they're your cards, I think they know you well enough.” she said, making room on the cot beside her.  
“I’ve had that deck since I was ten.” Allen said, pulling up a small folding chair beside the cot.  
“I’ll do a three card spread, telling your past, present and future.” Lindell said, taking random cards from the deck and putting them on the cot. “I am also not held responsible for whatever the cards reveal.”  
He nodded. “Yes I know. We used to have a fortune teller in the circus, but she died recently.”  
“That's unfortunate, how?”  
“Fever.” Allen answered. “It was a couple months ago.”  
“I see.” she cleared her throat and flipped over the first card. “Your past is represented by the five of hearts. It is drenched with fear and sadness...you lost someone close to you, didn't you?” she glanced at him.  
“...Yes.” that ancient sadness in his eyes was prominent now.  
Lindell returned her attention to the cards. “Your present is the eight of spades. Interesting.”  
“...What does that mean?”  
“You think you’re trapped, I'm assuming in the circus, but you’re not. You have a sense of powerlessness about your situation, but it’s an illusion.”  
He scoffed.  
“Be skeptical if you like, but you said you've had these cards since you were ten. You’ve used them since you were ten. This deck of cards knows you better than you know yourself.”  
His brow pinched as he considered her words. “What’s the last one?”  
Lindell flipped the third card. “Your future,” she smiled at him. “is the ace of hearts. Be ready for a new friendship or romance; someone is going to come into your life, and they will mean a great deal to you.”  
He looked at her with a small smile. “Really?”  
“That's what the cards say. Not a bad reading at all.”  
“Where did you learn to do that?” Allen asked.  
“The short story is that my sister Eden taught me.” Lindell replied. “The long story is quite complicated.”  
They talked for the rest of the night. There was some hand holding, but Allen didn’t have the courage to go beyond that. Lindell was quite content to talk the circus worker’s ears off.  
Nearly every possible subject was touched upon as the storm raged on. Lindell recounted tales of some of the stranger men she had encountered, and was sent into giggling fits at Allen’s constant blushes, followed by the changing of a subject. Allen told her of all the different places he had been to while in the circus; his childhood was a subject that was asked about once, and was briefly spoken of.  
When Lindell left the tent the next morning as the sun rose, the expressions of the two carnies who had hired her was far better than getting paid. She held her head high and smirked as she walked off the circus grounds, despite not getting paid.


	2. Chapter 2

It wasn’t often that Lindell took a few hours to herself.   
Tonight however, she wanted to slip out for a few hours. After all, the circus was performing at seven. It was two days after meeting Allen, and she couldn't deny that she was quite curious about what he did.   
It was amazing how much more alive the circus looked. The first time she had visited, the place had looked decrepit, with a dead air surrounding it. But now there were lights everywhere, with joyful shouting and general merrymaking.   
“Come one, come all, to the greatest show you’ll ever see!!” a man wearing a bright red coat called. “See amazing feats done high above the ground!! Death defying acts!! Oddities that will make your hair curl!!”  
 _Bingo_.   
Lindell headed in the direction of the biggest tent, where most of the crowd was. She headed towards the man in red and was ushered into the tent along with everyone else. All along the outer edge of the tent were wooden benches for people to sit and gawk. The center has been smoothed out and cleared of any grass or rocks.   
Lindell took her seat on a bench as the man in red jogged to the center of the cleared area.   
“Welcome!” he cried, making a great sweeping motion with his arms. “Ladies and gentlemen! Are you ready for a show the likes of which you’ve never seen?!”   
There was some laughter and scattered applause from the audience. Then the show began.   
Honestly, Lindell had seen barrels of fish that were more exciting.   
The exciting parts were the tightrope walker, a lovely looking woman who was as thin as a rake, and the man who breathed fire that came just a little too close to the crowd for comfort. The rest of it was alright, just not as exciting as Lindell had anticipated.   
The clowns chucked buckets of water at each other and the predictable audience laughed. Even Lindell chuckled a bit when one slipped and fell onto another, knocking them both down.   
As the clowns then ran off to the outer edge of the ring, a large object was pushed in. It was a very large circle of wood that stood erect upon a few wooden steps. It had leather straps attached to the outer edge at the top and the bottom, and was painted as a bullseye target with red and white.   
“And for our next act,” the ringmaster announced. “We have the amazing Roberto!”   
A man stepped out in a green and purple jacket with swirls along the arms, three long throwing daggers in each hand and bowed to the audience.   
“And for his assistant, we have one of the members of our regular freak show, Red!”   
Lindell was rather surprised when Allen came from the side and stepped into the light. His shirt was tailored to expose his left arm. It was mostly white, with silvery spots on his right sleeve and dark pants. His poker face was plastered on as he smiled and bowed low to the audience, even as a woman somewhere in the crowd screamed. He walked up to the colorful wooden circle.  
“Watch ladies and gentlemen,” the ringmaster cried out. “As Red becomes the live target for Roberto’s daggers! Will he survive the deadly blades?!”  
Allen was then strapped to the circle as the crowd waited with baited breath. The air felt oddly still as Roberto backed away from Allen at least ten feet, and then readied himself to throw a knife. Allen, to his credit, only looked a little nervous.   
When the first knife was thrown, another woman screamed and presumably fainted. Thankfully the knife completely missed the young circus performer, embedding itself in the wood above his right arm.   
The second landed on his left side near his waist.   
There were a few more screams from the audience as the third knife flew through the air and hit the spot above his left shoulder. Lindell had to admit, she was a little nervous herself, seeing knives being thrown at someone.   
The fourth knife landed on the right side of his waist.   
The fifth was dangerously close to his left thigh.   
Then finally, it was the sixth and last knife. Roberto made a show of raising it above his head, getting ready to throw it. The crowd was eerily silent. Suddenly, it flew through the air, straight at Allen’s head. He ducked at the last second, and the knife stabbed into where his left eye had been just a few moments ago. Once again, the crowd screamed, but this time it was accompanied by applause, which Lindell joined.   
The Ringmaster addressed the crowd as Allen was released. “Thank you ladies and gents, thank you for attending our fine show!” he was announcing what would happen next, but Lindell wasn’t listening, her eyes glued to Allen’s retreating form; as he exited the ring, he did a cartwheel for dramatic effect. She stood and followed a few others out of the tent, a couple men who were quite obviously headed towards a less than legal peep show. Lindell headed in the opposite direction, searching among the sparse crowd for the head of white hair.   
“Lindell?”  
The prostitute turned her head to see exactly who she was looking for. Allen was perched atop a barrel behind one of the tents, a water skin in hand. He looked incredibly surprised at her appearance.   
Lindell smiled and approached him. “There you are.”   
“What are you doing here?” he asked, closing the skin.   
“Well, I wanted to see what you do here.” she said. “And I’ve never been to a circus before.”   
Allen smiled. “Did you like the show?”  
“It was exciting, I’ll admit. Are you often used as a target?”   
“Sometimes, when I’m told.” he replied.   
“Sounds terribly exciting.” she tilted her head at him. The last time she had seen him, the star on his forehead hadn't been filled out quite so much. "Is that face paint?"   
Allen blinked and averted his gaze a bit, rubbing the back of his neck. "It's...a long story."  
"I didn't mean to pry."  
"It's not a big deal, I know it makes some curious." Allen shrugged.   
She smiled. "Yes, you do make me curious."   
Allen laughed a little and flicked his wrist, waving the whole thing off. A light pink dusted his cheeks. “W-well I’m happy you liked the show; there’s more to come you know. I have a five minute break.”   
Lindell grinned sheepishly. “As much as I would be tickled to stay longer, I really should get back. I’ve been away long enough as it is.”   
Allen nodded somewhat distantly. “Ah, I see. Well...I’ll see you around I suppose.”

Allen had no idea what he was doing.   
He’d fished out a jacket that didn’t have patches on the elbows, counted out $2.50 from coins strewn around his belongings, and walked into town. He found himself standing in front of the brothel. Hence why he had no idea what he was doing? He couldn't just go in for a friendly chat, he knew that...but he couldn't stop himself from walking away either. It had been nearly four days since she had come to the show. It was a rare sight indeed that found Allen outside the circus grounds.   
The brothel itself was connected to a small saloon, and the rather obnoxious music from inside grated on his ears as he weaved his way through the patrons of the establishment. There was a wild yell and a gun went off somewhere to his right. He ducked impulsively as the shot was followed by angry yelling and even louder drunken laughter.   
He asked a rather imposing woman beside the bar where he could find Lindell. His face colored when he heard she was busy, but her room was upstairs. Number 14 apparently.   
“She’ll be finished soon.” the dark haired woman said, cleaning out a glass. “Head on up if you don't mind waiting outside the door.”   
“Right...thanks.” Allen said, hoping his voice was loud enough to be heard. He scurried towards the stairs and made his way up. There were loud moans coming from 12 and 10, and for the life of him, Allen didn't know why he didn't turn his tail and run the other way.   
What was he doing here again?  
As he approached the door with 14 on it, he heard the sound of something smashing from inside.   
Allen froze in the middle of the hallway, straining to hear past the noises from the other rooms. Not a moment later, the door opened and a tall, well built man stormed out, leaving the door ajar behind him. He shoved past Allen, nearly throwing him into a wall. He said nothing and disappeared around the corner.   
The circus worker looked back to the room, and his gut twisted when he heard nothing else. He made a split second decision and gently pushed the door open.   
“...Lindell?” He said quietly. The room inside was dim, with a couple lit candles on a table on the opposite side of the room. It had a floral scent to it, possibly lavender, but the sex and sweat were there too.   
When the door opened, Lindell quickly turned her head, a bed sheet brought up to her chest.   
For the tenth time that night, Allen blushed.   
“Allen!” she said in surprise. “What...what are you doing here?”  
“May I come in?”  
“...Of course.”  
Allen stepped in lightly, closing the door behind him. “...To be completely honest, I'm not sure what I'm doing here.” He frowned at the shards of a broken vase on the floor. He looked up at her. “I just-” he froze. “...Are you bleeding?”  
Lindell hurriedly wiped at her nose and mouth. “I’m fine.”  
His earlier embarrassment forgotten, Allen quickly made his way to her bed. He picked up a handkerchief from the worn bedside table. “Here.” He said.   
She took it without a word and held it to her bleeding lip. It looked like she had the beginnings of a black eye as well.   
“...Did he do this?” Allen asked.  
“It doesn't matter.” came the sharp reply. “Comes with the job description.”  
Allen felt a hot sort of rage building in his chest.   
There was a brief moment where he felt like he was a child again, hiding in barrels from Cosmo.  
 _How dare that man put his hands on her_.  
He hasn't even realized he was moving until Lindell grabbed his wrist to stop him from leaving.   
“Allen stop, it's fine.” she said. “It’s not worth gettin’ your ass beat, just leave it.”   
Allen turned to her, still far angrier than he could remember being in a long time. There was fear in her eyes and her lip was still bleeding. The only thing covering her - and not very well - was the bed sheet.   
He felt a tug on his heart.   
Allen very gently cupped her face with his gloved hands.   
“You are so worth it.” He said quietly.   
She put her hands over his. “...Just stay with me for awhile. You don't even have to do anything...just don’t leave.”  
“I’ll stay.” He answered, sitting beside her on the bed. His blush returned as he spoke. “Would...would you like to dress?”  
“I’m fine.” Lindell said. “I might have someone come later anyways.”  
Allen made a fist in the bed sheet.   
He had no reason to be so angry...he’d known her for almost a week; and only a few days were actually spent in her company.   
“...We’re leaving.”  
Lindell looked at him. “Pardon?”  
“The circus.” Allen answered, staring at the wooden floor. “We’re leaving in two weeks.”  
The silence that followed was thick enough to have been cut through with a hunting knife.   
“...Oh.” Lindell whispered. “...Where to?”  
“Not sure. I haven't heard anything else...we start packing up next week.” Allen said.   
“...Good luck then.”   
Allen thought he felt his heart stop when he finally looked at her. “Come with me.”  
Lindell stared at him with wide eyes. “...What?”  
“Come with me...you don't want to do this forever, do you?” He said, his confidence growing. “And we need a fortune teller. You’ll be a great fit.”  
“You make it sound so simple.” There was a spark of hope in her heart that Lindell desperately tried to extinguish.  
“Because it is.” Allen said. “The ringmaster will hire you, you'll never have to sleep with strangers again.”  
“...I don't think I can just leave.” Lindell said, the spark growing. “I’m a source of income, I can't just pack up and leave.”  
“Well...what if…” he blushed again; at this rate he would pass out before the night was over. “Now this is just a thought, it doesn't have to happen...but...what if you got married?”  
She stared at him for at least a full minute until he was squirming beneath her gaze.  
“...Married.”  
“Yes.”  
“...I can only assume you mean...to you.”  
“...I’m not all that bad...nevermind, forget I said anything…” he stood to leave and she grabbed his wrist again.   
“It-it’s not that, Allen I swear…” she said. “It's just...I’ve known you for only a week…”  
He looked at her sadly. “...And in that time alone...Lindell you’re the only friend I’ve ever had.” he looked at her with such sincerity that she felt a shiver go down her spine. “...You've seen my arm. You stayed, you didn't run...even though you knew you wouldn't get paid like you were promised...you stayed. You talked to me. I...I’m never going to find anyone else like you...I just...I don't want to see you hurt like this. Ever.”   
She didn't know there were tears in her eyes until her vision was blurry and they were spilling down her cheeks. She intertwined her fingers with his and squeezed.   
Allen sat back down beside her. “...We wouldn't have to do anything really...nothing you didn't want to do...it would be like...like one of those royal marriages, to make things easy….please don't cry, I'm sorry…” he rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly as she dried her eyes.   
“I…” she sniffed and looked at him. “...It might work.”  
He blinked. “You...you think so?”  
She nodded.   
“And you don't mind...me?”  
She shook her head.   
His smile was blinding.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading, I hope you enjoyed it! Feel free to leave a comment or a kudos, there's only one chapter left! :)


	3. Chapter 3

Lindell looked intently at the cards, doing her best to ignore the way the man was looking at her. The man’s fortune was average at best. 

The hot September sun beat down on the circus outside, and even under the tent they were not safe from the heat. 

“So…whatsits say?” he asked. 

“…You will meet a lovely lady in the coming days.”

Their plan had worked. 

The wedding had been a small one, with few people in attendance, mostly some others who worked at the circus with Allen. Lindell tossed aside the blue and black dress for a more modest one of a lighter blue, and Allen found a coat with no patches on the arms. They had the local preacher marry them three days after the impromptu proposal in the brothel, and then they returned to the circus. Lindell became the new fortune teller, and they left when the Ringmaster deemed the town dry of funds. 

Lindell never saw that little town again.

All the small towns in the west looked the same to Lindell; put up all in a haste with splintering wood and one main road with rickety buildings on either side. They all had the same things. Saloons, general traders, hotels, brothels, jails, and a few of the nicer ones even had banks. The circus was moving back east, where there were more people with more money. The west only seemed to get drier and drier, in every sense of the word. 

“A lady?” the man asked. “What’s she look like?” 

“The cards do not reveal everything.” Lindell replied. “I can only tell you that you will meet a nice lady, and she will change some aspect of your life.” The fortune teller then held out her hand. “That’ll be one dollar.” 

The man huffed, but put his payment on the table before exiting the tent. 

The former prostitute leaned back in her chair and sighed. It felt as though the day had been going on forever, though she knew it was only after midday. She was alone in the tent for most of the day, since she didn’t need an assistant. Allen was busy with the main show and the freak show on the side, so she really only saw him at night or when they weren’t doing a show.

The rest of the circus was alright; some of the carnies knew what she used to do and gave her looks, but everyone else was cordial enough. They’d given Lindell the previous fortune teller’s tent, which was purple with yellowish accents around the edge of the top. At one time it had probably been gold, but the elements were not always kind to cheap colored canvas. There were some new tarot cards for her too, so she wouldn’t have to keep using Allen’s playing cards. The tarot cards were frayed on the edges, and some of the ink in the illustrations had dulled, but they worked well enough for telling average fortunes. She heard that once there had even been a crystal ball, but it cracked not long after the previous fortune teller died.

Lindell was pulled from her thoughts as another person entered the tent. She put on her trademark smile. 

“Would you like to know your future?” 

~~~

1896

The circus traveled in a caravan, much like the pioneers did. Before getting married, Allen had always tagged along in someone else’s wagon, since he was part of multiple acts. But with Lindell becoming the new fortune teller and marrying her, they inherited their own wagon. It wasn’t much, but it was enough to carry the tents and cots in, along with costumes and props. Acquiring a horse to pull the wagon had been another issue that Lindell may or may not have handled with a loose corset and a bare leg when Allen wasn’t looking. An eyeful was all it took for the merchant to blush and give them quite a discount. 

“I told him we were newlyweds.” Lindell had replied – with the most innocent expression – when asked. 

Allen wasn’t stupid, he could clearly see the look on the other man’s face, but they had a horse and he wasn’t about to start an argument. They married for convenience after all. 

The sun was high in the sky as the caravan moved along, and Lindell fanned herself. 

“It’s hot.” 

“I know.” Allen replied, holding the reins of the blue roan.

“I hate this heat.” 

“I know.” 

They had had this short conversation at least twelve times since sunrise. 

Lindell pouted and stared ahead of them at the rest of the wagons. At least it was better than her previous occupation…even if the heat did make her question her sanity. 

Allen rose a little in his seat. “I think there’s a town up ahead, do you see it?” 

Lindell tugged him back down by his sleeve. “You’re going to fall off this wagon and break your neck.” She looked ahead of them, staying firmly on the bench. “I think you’re right though, I do see something.” 

Allen smiled. “I hope we stop, I’d like to stretch my legs.”

“It has been awhile.” Lindell agreed, shielding her eyes from the sun. It was not long before a large painted sign came into view. 

“I wonder where we’ve ended up.” Allen asked aloud as the wagon followed the others into the town. 

Lindell squinted against the bright light. “…Cedar City…ootah? Maybe uhtah…uutah?” 

Allen blinked and then looked at her. “How’d you know that?” 

“It’s what the sign says.” 

“You can _read _?!”__

__Lindell shrugged. “A little…I learned when I was a child, but I never had much time to read after. Or much to read.”_ _

__“Huh…I know a few letters but not much.” Allen admitted. “Performing was always more important.”_ _

__“I can see that.” She replied, nodding her head. The caravan went off a bit towards the outskirts of the town, where the Ringmaster decided they would set up the tents._ _

__

__Lindell didn’t see Allen until much later that night. It was long after the circus shut down, and he didn’t seem to be one for staying out so late, so Lindell would have been lying if she said she wasn’t worried. He had run into town for some unknown reason, and she had no idea if he was still there or not._ _

__The moon was high in the sky and Lindell was still in her fortune telling clothes, pacing the length of the small tent. The only light came from a lantern hanging near the front flap of the tent, which was still in the night._ _

__She was debating whether or not to go out and look for him herself when suddenly Allen slunk through the ten flaps. Lindell spun around to face him, hands on her hips and a scowl on her lips._ _

__“And what time do you call this Mr. Walker?!” she huffed._ _

__Allen froze in his tracks, half-way inside the tent, and it was due to that that Lindell could see a hastily done make up job. It looked as though he had hurriedly smeared face paint over his right cheek, in a poor attempt at covering up a nasty looking black eye._ _

__The scowl slipped off Lindell’s face and was replaced with worry. “Allen?”_ _

__He blinked. “I um…I do apologize for returning so late, I was otherwise occupied.”_ _

__“What happened?”_ _

__“I tripped.”_ _

__What a rehearsed lie._ _

__Lindell sighed. “What did you trip into? A closed fist?”_ _

__“…Perhaps?”_ _

__She walked up to him and took his hand. “You don’t need to fib about something like that, I just…” she paused, just then noticing something oddly rectangular shaped hidden beneath his jacket. “…Allen what is that?”_ _

__He cleared his throat awkwardly and moved away from her and towards his cot. “I like to play poker.” He said. “I’m really quite good at it…but not everyone is a good sport when it comes to losing.”_ _

__She gave him a flat look. “Allen Walker you cheated didn’t you?”_ _

__He had the audacity to roll his eyes. “I wouldn’t have made it this far in life if I didn’t. The circus doesn’t exactly pay well.” He set the rectangular package on his cot._ _

__“ _Allen WALKER _-“___ _

____“Look, I’m alright.” He said, going over to her and taking her hands in his. “Really. Just a little roughed up, but I made it out alright.”_ _ _ _

____She frowned. “You _rat _, you could have been shot for cheating!”___ _ _ _

______“I’m well aware of the risks, believe me.” He said with a smile. “And I um…I got you something.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______Lindell blinked in confusion as he went to pick up the package. It wasn’t very large, and was wrapped in thin brown paper and tied with a thick string. Allen handed it to her with a sheepish smile. “…Consider it a very belated wedding gift.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______She gingerly took it from him, a blush spreading across her face. “I…Allen you didn’t have to, really.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“I wanted to.” He replied with a smile._ _ _ _ _ _

______“…I don’t have anything for you.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______Allen shook his head. “It’s fine, Lindell, really.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______She looked at him once more before taking the wrapping off. No one had given her something in so long. She blinked when she saw the well worn cover of a book._ _ _ _ _ _

______“I do hope you like it…” he said. “It’s a book of poems – at least, that’s what the man told me – and you mentioned earlier about never having anything to read.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______A smile was creeping onto Lindell’s face. She carefully opened it, and found a number of love poems, all written by someone name K. Lee. “Allen…” she said before looking up at him. “Thank you.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______His own smiling was blinding. “Now you can practice and won’t ever forget.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“And then I’ll teach you.” She said. She chuckled at the shocked expression he wore. “You know some, right? Then you won’t start from scratch, you can still learn them. That’ll be my present to you.” She put the book down on her cot. “But first we should look at that bruise of yours.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______~~~_ _ _ _ _ _

______Lindell hated hay._ _ _ _ _ _

______It made her itchy and her eyes water. It had been like that since she was a child. Unfortunately, dealing with it was a necessary evil when being around animals that needed it for food. She was busy with feeding some of the horses when she heard a voice behind her._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Can’t believe you actually hitched with ‘im.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______Lindell rolled her eyes but turned and smiled. “Hello Saul.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______The tall man was leaning against a wagon to the left, a cigar in hand._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Isn’t he… _strange _?” he asked.___ _ _ _ _ _

________“I think most people are strange. Most of the people in this circus anyways. Isn’t that why we’re all here in the first place?” Lindell responded, turning back to the horses. “But no, he’s not all bad.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Huh.” Saul huffed, puffing on his cigar. “He’s not one fer talkin’.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“I’ve noticed…” she had a thoughtful expression and turned to the carnie. “What do you know about him?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________This was apparently the question Saul had been waiting for, because he grinned and moved closer. “Funny you should ask miss, cause no one really knows ‘bout him. Came ta this here circus a few years ago with naught but a bag and ‘im clothes he was wearin’.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Didn’t sound too strange to her. “Did he now?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“An’ he brought all them scars with ‘im.” Saul continued, taking another puff of the cigar. He blew the smoke out in a small cloud and watched it drift away into the cloudless sky._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“No one know how he got ‘em though.” He grinned. “There’s them rumors floatin’ round though.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Saul, you gossip like an old crow.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Saul cackled and blew out some more smoke. He slapped his thigh with his free hand and stood straight up. “Wanna hear them rumors?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“…Indeed.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Later that night, Lindell was watching with some amusement as Allen was trying to shoo a moth away from the lantern._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“You know it won’t leave, right?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Allen swatted fruitlessly at the small insect. “Well it’s worth a try!”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Hmm…” Lindell sat there and watched him. “How’d you get it?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Almost!! Get, ah what?” he asked, looking around for the moth._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“The scar on your face.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Allen turned to her with a surprised expression. Neither of them noticed the moth fly out the front of the tent to safety, and to find an unoccupied lantern._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Oh that…” ha paused. “That’s a bit of a long story really.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“I have time.” Lindell smiled, tilting her head. “And I’d like to hear your version of it.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“My vers- oh…” Allen sighed. “Oh you’ve been talking with the other carnies, haven’t you?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Lindell laughed. “So far I’ve heard that you tripped and fell into a fence, some shaman placed a curse on you, it’s actually just paint that stained your face, the list goes on.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Ah well…yeah it’s not any of those.” He fidgeted. “It’s…well I don’t think you’ll want to hear all the details.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________She gave him a flat look and then swapped it for a bright smile. “Did I ever tell you about that one soldier who’s whole left-“_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Yes!” Allen quickly interrupted. “You have! And I get it, you’re no stranger to unpleasant things.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Lindell smiled. “Indeed.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________There was a minute of silence before Allen spoke again, fidgeting horribly. “I…I don’t particularly like to talk about what happened. I’m not saying I won’t tell, I just…I need to work myself up to do it.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Lindell tilted her head. “Work yourself up?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“…Get used to thinking about what happened.” He cleared his throat awkwardly. “Damn the moth is back.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“No it isn’t.” she rolled her eyes. “If you don’t want to tell then that’s fine; I just wanted to hear it from your words, not people who don’t know you.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Allen nodded, going to secure the tent flap closed. “I understand that, I do…I will tell, just…not tonight.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do apologize for how long this has taken, life has just gotten in the way. I hope you enjoyed it, and please do leave some feedback! Comments and kudos keep me going :)  
> And yes, the number of chapters has changed. :3

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks so much for reading! Feel free to leave a comment or a kudos! :)


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